Wednesday, March 6, 2013

So You Wanna Be A Saint

Vatican Leaks Plan to Produce Reality TV Shows

While the Red Beanie Boys are conclaving it in the Vatican, it's not all mea culpas and politicking.
Unnamed sources have hinted that the Cards are considering a plan to produce a number of reality TV shows.

"These shows will demonstrate that we are not, as the godless secular humanists claim, out of touch with reality," said a high-ranking Vatican snitch.  "They will show the true face of the Church, and bring our message to the people of all the earth and provide a wholesome alternative to that diabolic sinkhole of perdition, You Tube."

While no shows have as yet received a Papal Blessing, a few proposals have risen to the top of the indulgence list.

So You Wanna Be A Saint
A group of  the dead, the undead, and zombies compete for sainthood. The long slog from beatification through full canonization is tougher than it seems, although fast-tracking by powerful sponsors can help.  Find inspiration in  Mother Teresa whose miracles may not have been all they were cracked up to be.

Eternal City Stripers
Day after day after day after day in the lives of the Swiss Guard.  This documentary reveals what it  really takes to carry out their vital mission of standing around all day wearing striped pantaloons and metal hats.

Survivor:  Rome to California Edition
Two groups of cultists vie for world domination in this exciting match up of  wily Old World Roman Catholics and upstart New World Scientologists.  Losers won't get voted off the altar, they'll get sent straight to hell. Infallibility versus Science Fiction:  game on!

You read it here, on the internet, so it must be true.


A big Trouserville Thank You to my brilliant sister Maureen who blogs about the world, business, marketing, life, and human nuttiness (excluding politics and religion) over on Pink Slip and who tipped me to the HuffPo article that inspired this post.

2 comments:

Maureen Rogers said...

Excellent post! And thanks for the Trouserville thank you.

Meanwhile, I heard there are other reality shows in the works.

Property Virgins, in which nuns displaced when the Church sells their convent out from underneath them because they were too liberal hunt for new digs on a limited budget.

And there will be a Vatican-based version of Doomsday Preppers,in which a panel of cardinals rates just how well-prepared for the afterlife the contestants are.

Unknown said...

Do you think we can take credit for the fact that the American cardinals are no longer holding their daily press conferences in Rome because of leaks to the press? :)