Monday, June 24, 2013

A My Name is . . .

Abercrombie? Absinthe? Aflatoxin? Aqueduct? Amoeba?

Well, it could be worse. The product, uh, offspring, of celebrities Kanye West and Kim Kardashian has been given the reality-TV-ready name of "North."  That would be "North West." Duh! She will be called "Nori," which as a type of seaweed is nicer than "Noro," a type of intestinal virus. As her parents have announced, she is their very own little "North Star," and they pose the question, "What is higher than North?" Hmm-mm--mm, I think we can all fill in that blank. At least they didn't succumb to a "K" name. Kaopectate West doesn't have quite the same cutesy ring as "North (Nori-don't-call-me-sushi) West."

N my name is Nori and I need nothing.

I won't be the first or the last to scratch my head over the names that folks, celebrity and non, give to their children. Look, call yourself whatever you want, but have some pity on your kids.

Back in the day, if you were born Catholic as I was, you couldn't be baptized unless you were given the name of a saint.  "Kathleen" was a form of "Katherine," and there are a couple of saints with some form of that name, so that was fine. Fortunately, there was no way I could have been named "Kapok" or "Kwashiokor," even if my parents were the kind of narcissistic louts who would do something like that.  My only complaint was that "Kathleen" was one of the most popular names (#11 in the top 20) the year I was born, not quite the Sophia-Emma-Isabella-Olivia-Ava of its day, but in an Irish-Catholic enclave it probably edged up to second or third. How else explain the fact that of the 21 girls in my grade school class, seven were named some form of Katherine or Kathleen? 

So, I have a ho-hum first name, but at least it wasn't a weird old Catholic saint name that sounds like a disease, such as Namadia (widow and nun), or has a wacky qualifier, like Isadora the Simple.

So, good luck to little Nori. I'm sure she will have many more K-word obstacles to overcome in her life than the somewhat silly name she's been saddled with.






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